Those surfers of the blogosphere who occasionally catch a wave in to Reverse Sweep will have probably worked out, after ten weeks of inactivity, that it takes something fairly remarkable to get me out of my comfy armchair and spouting forth in righteous anger and indignation on this forum.
Well that remarkable thing happened just now, as I started to watch the Kolkatta Knight Riders’ reply against the Mumbai Indians in the coat of many colours that is the Indian Premier League. Previously, I’ve had to plump my cushions up just that little bit higher by the ever-more extraordinary costumes that the stars of this circus are being forced to wear (for the record I’m not against coloured clothing per se, just the eye-wateringly bizarre nature of the combinations on offer – red and white, red and gold, black and gold. It would have Trinny and Sussanha reaching for an Argos catalogue) and been forced to the edge of my upholstery by the sight of Harbhajan Singh coming into bat at No 3.
But the first two deliveries to Chris Gayle from Lasith Malinga, the Sri Lankan fast bowler playing for Mumbai, propelled me from such luxuries into my decidely less plush, but reassuringly single-tone turquoise, desk chair (£20 from a second hand furniture clearance store in downtown Wimbledon Chase).
For, knock me down with a feather, was not the former Slinger quite obviously and plainly Chucking, at a pace of about 140kph? I didn’t have my protractor handy, but as his arm came round in a sideways wind up just prior to release, did not the angle of flex not just excede 15 degrees but seem so close to 90 that I was reduced to searching for the square on the hypotenuse?
And yet, was I the only one who noticed? It seems so, for not one of the posse of commentators who have found work in the sub-continental competition being played in a completely different Continent, found reason to comment, not even when Malinga completely lost it and hurled the ball five yards down the legside at the height of an RAF Hercules on stealthy night-time manoevres.
So, tell me, anyone just popping in here to waste a bit of down time at work, am I right or have the strangely-patterned strips just interfered iin a most unnatural way with my eyesight