Does Vaughan need an extra hole in his bottom?

Reverse Sweep’s northern correspondent Jack S Pratt put on his flat cup, stuck his whippet in his backpack and travelled up to Scarborough recently to watch the former England captain in action. This is his latest dispatch



Unless Michael Vaughan is short of  money it strikes me that he needs a central contract as much as he needs an extra hole in his bottom.

Does this mean he will tour India when, on current form, he should not be let near a Test attack? What would be the point of that?  Or is he going to sit at home wondering where his next deceent knock is coming from? At Scarborough recently even his practice shots looked rubbish.
Surely what he needs to do is to find a level of cricket where he might get runs (New Zealand is a lovely place to spend the winter) and get used to enjoying the game again. He could then come back to county cricket in the spring and gauge his form before, hopefully, facing Australia as the batsman he was five years ago.
It is my fear that a central contract will mean a lot of rest and net practice that will prevent rather than inspire Vaughn’s renaissance. Vaughan on form is the best English batsman of his generation (with Ramps a close second) and I for one think that unless the ECB show some common sense the central contract could be the most poisonous of chalices.

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One response to “Does Vaughan need an extra hole in his bottom?

  1. Eden Spark

    Mr Spratt’s views on cricket might be contestable, and one really does fear for his ferret’s genitalia, but his analysis of New Zealand is accurate. Even in winter it is fairer than Scarborough. If he wishes to play cricket, though, Vaughan would do better to come here in the summer. Hang on, do I have the seasons confused? Apologies. I forget that you people Up Over, in the Antipodes, arrange things differently.

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