Monthly Archives: September 2008

Shoaib’s challenge: make a northerner eat his ferret’s naughty bits

Ever wonder why there was a north-south divide? It’s to stop raving lunatics like Jack S Pratt, Reverse Sweep’s correspondent from places where southerners fear to tread, getting past the Watford Gap. Anyway, here’s the nutcase’s latest rant, and strangely, we agree with him
There is nothing more gratifying to us cricket die hards up north than to see soft southerners get their comeupance.I refer on this occasion to Surrey’s use of  “The Rawalpindi Rip Off”, aka Shoaib Akhtar in an attempt to buy their way out of trouble.
As I write on a rainy morning in Yorkshire, Akhtar has taken 1-54 in Hampshire’s 480-8! This does not exactly sound like great value, but does at least shows that the cricketing gods have a senseof fair play.
However it is one thing seeing our southern friends getting their just desserts, it is another seeing good money go to waste.
I don’t know what Shoaib was paid for stint at The Oval, but surely the money could have better spent.
I suspect the amount would represent cosiderable riches to, for example, those trying to improve facilities for socially disadvantaged young cricketers.I’m sure you can all think of a better cause than Akhtar’s bank account.
It may be  that Shoaib will score a double hundred and take 10 wickets in the second innings. If so I’ll eat my ferret’s genitals but will still question  the morality and financial sense of such dodgy dealings.


Filed under Uncategorized

Does Vaughan need an extra hole in his bottom?

Reverse Sweep’s northern correspondent Jack S Pratt put on his flat cup, stuck his whippet in his backpack and travelled up to Scarborough recently to watch the former England captain in action. This is his latest dispatch



Unless Michael Vaughan is short of  money it strikes me that he needs a central contract as much as he needs an extra hole in his bottom.

Does this mean he will tour India when, on current form, he should not be let near a Test attack? What would be the point of that?  Or is he going to sit at home wondering where his next deceent knock is coming from? At Scarborough recently even his practice shots looked rubbish.
Surely what he needs to do is to find a level of cricket where he might get runs (New Zealand is a lovely place to spend the winter) and get used to enjoying the game again. He could then come back to county cricket in the spring and gauge his form before, hopefully, facing Australia as the batsman he was five years ago.
It is my fear that a central contract will mean a lot of rest and net practice that will prevent rather than inspire Vaughn’s renaissance. Vaughan on form is the best English batsman of his generation (with Ramps a close second) and I for one think that unless the ECB show some common sense the central contract could be the most poisonous of chalices.

1 Comment

Filed under Uncategorized

KP’s master-stroke in going in to bat for Freddie

Read this morning on cricinfo a piece in which Andrew Flintoff declares his undying love for Kevin Pietersen: okay it doesn’t exactly say that but does suggest that KP’s new, confident, winning mentality is helping him enjoy the game again.

I suspect that success breeds pleasure more, perhaps, than the other way around but there is no doubt that KP’s own outlook – in Flintoff’s words his confidence has started to “rub off on quite a few of the players” – has had an immediate impact; whether that feel-good factor can be maintained remains to be seen and a full audit on KP’s captaincy can not really be carried out for some months yet.

But that impact has definitely been no greater on any individual than Flintoff himself, especially with regards to his batting. 

Personally, I had begun to give up all hope that we would ever again see the man who hit 402 runs in the 2005 Ashes series, and was mulling over the upsetting thought that if his body broke down again to prevent him bowling, we might even have seen the last of him in international colours.

For, as he made aborted attempts to get himself fit for county and country, there was nothing more depressing than hearing that he was playing for Lancashire – usually in the wintry extremes of Blackpool or somewhere similar – just as a batsman.

I believe the decline in his batting can be traced back to the fourth, and what proved to be the final, day of the decisive third Test against Sri Lanka at Trent Bridge in June 2006 – or at least that is when I first began to worry about it.

I could stay for only the first couple of hours before having to rush to catch the train back to London for an afternoon shift, so decided to make the most of my time, arriving early to watch the warm-ups and net practice.

I had positioned myself perfectly behind the England net close to the boundary boards, when Flintoff put on his pads. I was expecting to witness – after a short period to get his eye in and assure Duncan Fletcher he was taking it seriously – the England captain unleash a series of swashbuckling strokes to entertain the crowd that was growing quickly around me.

Instead, though, he seemed ill at ease. I couldn’t quite put my finger quite on what was wrong but he was unable to find any timing, or get his feet moving, and the ball was hitting the bat rather than the other way around. In all, it was one of the least impressive net sessions I had seen an international-class batsman have and it did not augur well for England’s hopes as they set about finishing off the Sri Lankan second innings and chasing a difficult target of 325.

Flintoff had already gone for one in the first innings – a soft dismissal as he leant back to drive Jayasuirya and edged to the keeper – and, despite leaving Nottingham with the England total on a healthy 80 for no wicket, I arrived at work some three hours later to find we had crumbled to 125 for six.

I resignedly looked for Flintoff’s contribution and was not entirely surprised to find that he had lasted only four balls against Muralitharan and had gone to a rather limp forward push that had barely troubled Dilshan at short leg.

Injury then intervened and Flintoff did not play another Test until he had been restored to the England captaincy for the Ashes series in Australia. That tour produced only 254 runs from his bat – at an average of 28 – and his two decent scores, a fifty in a lost cause at the Waca and 89 in the first innings in Sydney were memorable only for the somewhat desperate aerial attacking shots that he turns to when he is hopelessly outclassed outside the off stump.

In the World Cup that followed, he looked even uneasier, unable to play his natural attacking game with confidence, and contributed only 92 runs from seven innings, the nadir coming when he was bowled by the Bangladeshi left-arm spinner Mohammed Rafique in Barbados. I can remember almost falling off my sofa with apoplexy when his wicket fell. It was one of the most appalling shots you can imagine from an international player.

To confirm my view of it now, I looked up the cricinfo commentary for the dismissal, and sure enough: “Flintoff barely moves his feet and is completely undone by the arm ball and bowled neck and crop. A great player but he looked as impotent as a club No 11 there”.

Further injury followed, but even when Flintoff returned to the England team this season for the second Test against South Africa, his batting limitations were still on display.

Few observers – and few inside the set-up – felt comfortable with him at No 6, even to the point that Tim Ambrose was promoted above him. That experiment was thankfully short-lived but it indicated how Flintoff’s stock as a batsman had fallen.

Come the Oval, however, and the appointment of KP, Flintoff was back at No 6. I didn’t feel entirely comfortable with him there – and his first innings score did nothing to persuade a rethink, but then came Pietersen’s master-stroke in the one-dayers.

Rather than putting him at No 7 or No 6, he promoted him to No 5. It seemed foolhardy, but curiously, by burdening Flintoff with more batting responsibility and by showing his confidence in his ability, he got the best out of the Freeman of Preston.

Superb innings followed, with Flintoff’s get-out-of-jail shots in the air through mid-wicket and mid-on substituted by confident, well-timed and well-placed efforts elsewhere. While he was still able to draw on his massive strength when required, he showed an ability to build an innings – albeit a quick one – that, to me, had been missing for more than two years.

It is a shame that Flintoff’s improved form – and that indeed of the whole one-day side – will not be put further to the test in the Champions Trophy, but if KP has done enough to restore the confidence to his premier all-rounder’s batting, he has already achieved something of lasting value.


Filed under Uncategorized

Navel-gazing and a cricket transfer window – Reverse Sweep returns

Well, after a brief hibernation as he suffered a crisis of confidence, Reverse Sweep has slowly opened his eyes, yawned, stretched, risen to his feet and wandered over from the couch to take his place back at his computer terminal.

It has been a bit of a break, but can he pick up where he left off? Will his handful of readers clap their hands in joy and offer grateful thanks to the heavens or be pissed off at being toyed with like this? Or will they have taken their daily blog reading habits elsewhere, winking suggestively at any new entrant to the blogosphere in the hope of forging a more sustainable relationship, and therefore not be aware he is back.

Only time – and the wordpress daily readership statistics – will tell.

So what brought about RS’s psychological crisis? And what, after much soul-searching and many cups of coffee, has brought him back to the fold.

It started with KP. When KP was awarded the England captaincy, you could hardly move for the opinions on his selection. TV, newspapers, blogs: every viewpoint you could imagine was covered – and sometimes more than a few times. So the question is: had RS got anything new to say? If not, was he saying the same things in a new or interesting way? Or was he just repeating, in a not very exciting way, what you could read or hear elsewhere?

Never, in the field of human history, RS suspects, has there been so much spoken or written about cricket – or about anything for that matter. While that is in many ways a good thing, giving voice to those who might not otherwise have one, it also means that almost no stone is unturned, and most of those stones are turned repeatedly.

Neville Cardus? EW Swanton? How would they have got on in blog land? Would their voices have seemed so original, so unique in a land saturated with cricket wordage?

Who knows? All RS knows is that there were blogs out there doing the same job – and probably doing it better.

Anyway, enough navel gazing. RS was convinced to return by a simple conversation with his old chum over at Line and Length who, while being plied with alcohol at a pub overlooking the Thames one evening last week, mentioned that at least RS “was readable”.

And that, he supposes, should be enough. However, RS will not now try to blog on a daily basis, but only when he really has something to get off his chest., like, why on earth are Surrey being allowed to court Shoaib Akhtar in a desperate attempt to save their season? Does this not neglect what county cricket should be all about proving: the best and worst teams over a sustained period? 

At the time of writing it is by no means certain that this will go through? But if it does, and Surrey escape thanks to a couple of ten-fors from the Rawalpindi Express, I trust that the ECB will look into creating some regulations to prevent this in future.

Maybe a cricket transfer window is required.


Filed under Uncategorized